If I was to choose one thing that truly helped me whilst I was recovering from depression (aside from therapy and anti-depressants), I would say it was practicing gratitude each morning.
I’d heard of practicing gratitude from one of my friends that I met when I moved to Manchester in 2016. She was super wise and all-knowing, and she’d mentioned that making a gratitude list every day was one of her favourite things to do. It sounded like a good idea, and I genuinely did consider trying it but never seemed to get around to doing it.
It wasn’t until I bought a goal planner (because that’s the kind of person I am) at the start of 2021 which had a gratitude section within the daily planner that I started to practice gratitude.
I remember the first time I went to plan my day and saw the space to write three things that I was grateful for. I remember going to write down three things and genuinely couldn’t think of anything to write. I just sat there, thinking that I truly hated life and had nothing to be grateful for (I’m a very positive person by nature, as you can tell).
I resorted to Googling examples of what I could be grateful for and saw that people wrote things like the fact they had a car or a comfortable bed. And I thought, well I have a car to get around in and a comfy bed, so I can write those things down. It felt a bit silly at first, but then I realised that I’d never even stopped to consider how lucky I was to be able to drive and have a good night’s sleep.
I struggled to think of more things to write down as I carried on using the planner each day, but in the end, I decided that nothing was too small. I would sometimes write that I had a really nice coffee or enjoyed something I’d watched the night before.
Within the next few weeks, my mindset started to shift. I would go about my day and whenever something good happened, I’d think ‘oooh that can go on tomorrow’s gratitude list’. This started to happen more and more frequently and I stopped struggling with the daily gratitude lists and looked forward to completing these.
After a month or so, I found that I’d stopped looking for the negatives in everything and began to appreciate the small things that I’d previously taken for granted. Even when someone crashed into the back of my car, my main thought was ‘well, at least I wasn’t hurt’. The old me would have been telling myself how unlucky I always was, and that these things always happened to me – always a victim mentality.
The biggest takeaway from practicing gratitude was that it actually helped my depression. I wasn’t in the worst place that I’d ever been, but looking back I had been struggling with my mental health again at this time. I’ve always been quite a cynical person and usually looked for the worst in situations, but once gratitude became part of my daily routine I realised that I stopped hating on everything and actually appreciated my life more. I hadn’t even been aware of how negative I’d been before then.
I’m not saying that if you’re depressed then gratitude will fix everything, or that you’re simply depressed because you’re not grateful. I know it doesn’t work like that. But if I was to give anyone one piece of advice on how to manage their mental health on a daily basis, I’d probably go with practicing gratitude.
What is Gratitude?
Gratitude is simply being thankful and appreciative in life.
How to practice Gratitude
Personally, I like to use a planner with a gratitude list to prompt me every morning. The planner I use is from Etsy and costs £20 at the time of writing this which is cheaper than a few other similar ones: https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/734641328/daily-goal-setter-planner-2023-daily?ref=yr_purchases
The reason I love this planner so much is that it’s very minimal and simple, so I don’t find it a chore to use. In addition to the daily planner, it also has weekly and monthly planners, and a section for short and long-term goals. I love writing things down and looking back to see what progress I’ve made.
P.S. I don’t get any commission for this planner, I just really love it.
But you can do it any way you like. If you prefer to think about what you’re grateful for or meditate on this, then that’s great too. Or find someone to thank each day – I sometimes message a friend to thank them for always being there for me. Whatever you prefer!
As long as you can create a regular habit, whether that’s scheduling the practice each morning or whilst journalling before bed, that’s the main thing. Consistency is definitely key!
And if you struggle at first, just name one thing you’re grateful for, and go from there. It’ll get easier.
I actually bought one of my friends the 5-Minute journal for Christmas (I’ve included the link below) as she told me she’d been struggling a bit with stress and anxiety due to work. This asks you to write down things you’re grateful for in the morning and reflect on your day at the end of it.
It’s not the cheapest journal – priced at £31 at the time of writing this post, but that’s why I thought it would make a nice gift. However, I hadn’t realised that not everyone knew about this journal, and it definitely doesn’t look like it cost £31. So, after my friend had given me a bunch of lovely presents, I was like ‘ermmm yep here’s your gift – I know it doesn’t look much but it’s good, I promise’. It hadn’t helped that my sister had made our friend a huge hamper with loads of self-care products, and I handed over a book to write in.
I’d completely forgotten about the gift until my friend messaged me the following month thanking me for the best present ever and that when she said it had changed her life, that was an understatement. I can’t even explain how happy I was to receive that message – just by adding these small practices to your day really can make such a difference.
If you want to check out the 5-minute journal (again, I don’t get any commission – I’m just a journal junkie), it’s available on Amazon: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Five-Minute-Journal-Happier-Minutes/dp/0991846206)
Benefits of practicing Gratitude
For me, gratitude has definitely improved my mental health and helps me to manage it on an ongoing basis. I view things differently now and am nowhere near as negative about life as I used to be. I still have my down days and low moods (especially when I’m due on), but I generally find life much easier than I used to. And I can tell the difference in my mindset when I stop doing the lists.
Practicing gratitude makes me look for positive things throughout my day, and it makes me feel good when I appreciate something in the moment. So whilst my practice takes around a minute each morning, it kind of carries on throughout my day. I also love that I start each day positively when planning it, it really sets it up well.
If, like me, you know that you have to manage your mental well-being each day or want to introduce some healthy habits to your routine, then I definitely recommend practicing gratitude every day for a month and seeing if it helps. To keep you motivated, maybe get a journal or even a cheap pad of paper (or use your phone notes app and an alarm/reminder) to make sure you stick to it consistently.
And don’t worry about what you write, it’s your list. That might sound obvious, but I know I used to think that anything I wrote down had to be justified or significant – but it honestly doesn’t matter. And once you start making this a habit, it will get easier.
Do you practice gratitude, or would like to start? Please feel free to share any tips or thoughts below